UX Ideas For Human Reproduction http://su.pr/1sdaPR
The Japanese inspire me with their drive to continually improve – everything. Even packets of catsup open better in Japan than in America. Might it be time for the Great Heavenly Father to rethink a couple things about how we increase our number? I think so, and while I am supposed to be working on the user experience issues with a social media sharing tool that I am designing, I wonder if I might offer God a few thoughts. Mind you, these are not prayers, nor are they what I would wish upon my own reproductive “user experience,” but since it occurs to me that the deal is rather flawed, here are my ideas:
Gamify the deal a lot better in favor of the women
If the female is going to bring the child to term, and suffer the pains of pregnancy and childbirth, why not demand more from the male? Again, in my lifetime, there’s no need to implement the human reproductive UX ideas I have for you – and what’s more, I think many would agree that you might do well to start an entirely new type of “us,” Human 2.0, say, on a different planet.
Give the functional mammaries to the men
Getting ready for baby-feeding, this guy isn't about to go looking for action while his wife is preggin' it, is he?
and make them start filling with milk, gradually, immediately after successful mating. This would prompt the guy to stick around after the fun’s over, and make him appear what theHuman 2.0 female regard as “taken”: a guy walking around with noticably expanding boobs. Further, it would motivate the male to:
take care of what he puts in his body, while the female is doing likewise, while pregnant
do all of the feeding, pretty much, while the baby is being breastfed
suffer a healthy dose of the indignity, inconvenience and discomfort of breastfeeding, which would encourage him to think twice before remarking on how the female’s ass might have changed in shape for the worse.
I would actually just do this one major change before implementing my next suggestion, so as to evaluate the reactions, changes on population growth, male reluctance to engage in intercourse, etc. You really want to make such major changes in stages, I believe. And try them on the beings on a planet other than earth, first (please).
If you find males far less willing to engage in intercourse with the female to male mammary reassignment, I would further encourage males with the following trade-off: when the males “unlock” the milk-producing mammaries feature, let them also unlock the ability to control the dimensions of their penises at will, and perhaps, upon producing a second child, also control turgidity and staying power. Naturally, I am assuming that the major religions have read you right – with their teaching that you, Lord, do actually wish us to be (more) fruitful and multiplying.
Gender change at will
Just as some fish, insects, and other animals (plants too, I believe) have the ability to change gender when they sense a major imbalance, you might next try this with adult humans. Let us be who we want to be. Let us choose the role that feel right, regardless of the junk you started us out with. I think of this one having known a number of homosexual humans, through my life, who truly never felt right being forced to either abstain from sex or use what seems to be the wrong stuff to them. I also recall the Semester at Sea program (do check the linked page; no joke – around the globe in one semester, its for real; they simply do not believe in paying for advertising) I did in the Fall semester of 1988, and while it was a blast for us 63 male students, with 410 female college students on a cruise ship, nightclub, volleyball, swimming pool… and less than of us (hunted!) males: in the mating game, the tables were clearly turned, suffice it to say. Talk about going “from zero to hero…”
I will finish with a musical tribute to the opposite situation: this is what happens when a nightclub is taken over by geeks. Hint: it can be even more awkward for us guys, when we greatly outnumber the females…
God has yet to comment on my blog
(PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT AS “GOD,” UNLESS YOU ARE REASONABLY COMFORTABLE IN YOUR BELIEF THAT YOU ARE GOD. IN THAT CASE, BY ALL MEANS!) I CAN ALWAYS HOPE, RIGHT?
About Saul Fleischman
Working with social web apps developers on getting things made: my role tends to be functionality ideation, user experience, and also, marketing communications and community development.
